I’m working hard at hanging onto gratitude today.
That makes me sound very introspective-snobbish, and neo-New Age (is that even a valid adjective?), but it’s true. Everyone has bad days where things pile up, and a murky grey is the best that a full day’s worth of solid work to improve matters will yield. Having that weak sense of relief and victory squashed by yet more late-breaking bad news is also not anything novel, And Yet. I’m still here. I’m still in good health. (I think.) I think! I still have my home (with kittens), my job, my family, my friends, favourite snack foods, the freedom to go out when I want (more or less), and The Boy, who is understanding and sympathetic in my grey, despondent moods.
Life isn’t cheerless, not by a long stretch. It’s just a long day marking a run of upcoming harder work. It shames me a little that it takes such a conscious effort for me to step back and see how much I still have, how light my lot is.
(I console myself by pointing out that at least I take that step.)
Anyway, lest you think I’ve given up completely, and am wallowing at home eating ice cream straight out of the bucket, I would reassure you by saying that, no, not at all. My life is far more interesting than that: My life of late has been completely dominated by my knitting.
I know! I’m caught up in the regular January Counting of UFOs. I’m so horrified (as usual) by the number of unfinished projects I have that I’ve actually succesfully dictated to myself that I am no longer allowed to start anything new unless something comes off the needles first.
The only thing I’m really itching to start at the moment is one of those knit-lengthwise garter stitch scarves to use up stray yarn. Part of the reason is the obvious stash-clearing quality of the project. The other part, however, is that I’ve finally decided that this is The Project On Which I’ll Learn To Knit Continental. I keep saying I’ll knit a dishcloth to learn, but my motivation to knit dishclothes lately is lacking, so this will do nicely, I think. I’m ridiculously excited by how much better I’ll feel when I stop having onesie twosie balls of yarn lingering around, and have only the Stuff Of Projects. (HA.)
One has to have dreams.